The story of Arianna is so precious, so miraculous!  How do I even put into words the incredible gift that having her is?  How great is the mercy the Father has lavished upon us!  So, after almost six months of reflection; here is the story of the miracle of life, the miracle of Arianna Ellen Brewer’s life

CHOOSING A BIRTH MODEL

As my husband, AJ, and I began discussing having a baby we knew we wanted to do so in the healthiest, safest, most Godly manner possible.  With this in mind we decided to pray, research, and interview who would guide us through bringing a baby into the world. Everyone I had ever known gave birth in a hospital with an OB/GYN. I had grown up hearing horror stories of babies in emergency situations. Both of our mothers had to have C-sections, and in our minds hospitals were imperative. As I researched which hospital and which doctor to use I began coming across this notion of midwives and home births. I have always wanted the expert opinion, and the person with the most credentials is obviously the most qualified and therefore the best. I began researching midwives and home births, more to add concrete reasons why it was ridiculous to use them than to actually contemplate using them. However, the more I researched the more benefits I found to using a midwife and having a home birth. The single biggest reason I found that people promoted hospitals over midwives was “in case something happened.” However, the more and more research I did the more and more I found standard hospital procedures often led to those very emergencies. More and more we were looking at birth options outside of the hospital. We decided to interview three practitioners, one from each of three birth models. First, a traditional OB/GYN working out of a hospital. Second, a midwife working out of a birthing center. Finally, a midwife specializing in home births. After extensive online research and prayer, we picked the professionals to meet with.

First, we met with the traditional OB/GYN. As we spoke with her she just kept telling us why home birth was dangerous, all the horrible things that could happen, and how only stupid irresponsible people use them. She then proceeded to tell us how important it is to write a birth plan, but that she would not follow it if she didn’t want to. Our birth plan was basically meaningless to her, and our questions on birth were never answered. On top of that, we were charged thirty dollars for our “free consult.” Needless to say, we were left with a bitter taste in our mouth.

At our second meeting we really liked the midwife at the birthing center.  The birthing center looked great, and the midwife was knowledgeable and very friendly. She answered our questions, explained the things that were mandatory for birth at the birth center and where our birth plan could come into play. If a problem arose they had an entire team of doctors we could meet with. We really liked her, and truly considered this a viable option.

Finally, I met with Suzanne and Sarah the midwives who did home births. (AJ was unable to come due to a last minute work issue, but left we with a list of questions.) I explained our journey thus far, and how AJ was concerned in case of an emergency in the birth.

They answered all of our questions, gave me some information, and told us to let them know when we made our decision. We were debating back and forth between the birth center and a home birth. After much prayer and research, we decided to do our birth the way God designed it to be. We desired a natural intervention free birth, time to hold and caress our baby after the birth, the personal relationship and convenience of all our appointments occurring in our home, and incredible support throughout the labor (not just at the point of delivery). When we researched the health risks to both mom and baby of the common hospital interventions we knew where God was leading us. It was with overwhelming peace we called Suzanne to tell her our decision. We were amazed and blessed by how supportive our families were. Although concerned, as we shared our research with them they became extremely supportive. Now that we had a plan, we just needed to get pregnant.

THE PREGNANCY

A few weeks after deciding to have a baby and to do a home birth, AJ and I began questioning if we were truly ready. We decided to wait for awhile. However, the next week I woke up and took a pregnancy test and an ovulation test just trying to figure out exactly how to read the ovulation tests (long story). I found the same test strips used in a doctor’s office for sale online so I could test MUCH earlier and the strips were MUCH cheaper than ones in a department store. As I was washing my hands I glanced down at the strips and noticed two lines on the pregnancy test! I was pregnant! I ran in to AJ ecstatic and shouting, “We’re pregnant! We’re pregnant!” He woke up to those words at 6 am from a dead sleep. His face went white & he pulled the sheet over his head. “What are you thinking?” I asked. “I’m terrified,” he said quietly. “Terrified but excited,” with a slight smile. We then called our parents and took pictures.

I emailed Suzanne to let her know, and I booked an appointment with a doctor at the Cerner Health Clinic just to get a positive result and make sure AJ’s insurance would take affect. Dr. Megan Groves confirmed that I was pregnant and told me I was due March 14th, 2010 (National Pi Day, how perfect for a math major dad!). Suzanne told me to make sure I was eating very healthy and avoiding caffeine, medicines, and sugars. She told me to start taking prenatal vitamins and fish oil to help the baby with brain development. We would start meeting monthly when I was 8 weeks pregnant, and we set a date. From then on any questions I had were quickly answered by calling or emailing Suzanne.

My prenatal appointments were VERY different from my friends and family who had given birth. The midwives came to our home in the evenings when AJ was off work so he could be there. At each meeting I took a urine test (checking a wide array of blood levels). Then Suzanne, Sarah, or later Shari would feel my tummy (in later meetings they were able to determine the position of the baby doing this!), listen to the placenta and later the heart beat of the baby, measure my tummy, answer my questions, and then discuss a relevant pregnancy issue (everything from nutrition to labs to labor positions). They were FABULOUS! At 8 weeks we tried to listen to Arianna’s heartbeat, but it was too early. However, we did get to hear the placenta, which was incredible. The next month we were able to hear the heartbeat. It was all I could do not to cry! There was a real person connected to me and growing all the time! Despite my nausea, inability to cook, exhaustion, and guilt over my lack of accomplishment around the house I could not believe the miracle in my womb! God was hand knitting together a life inside my body! Each month as they returned they would give me hints on handling my pregnancy discomfort and let me listen to the life within.

What a miracle to FEEL a life moving within you! For me the movements of my baby felt like popcorn popping in my belly. As the movements grew stronger even AJ could feel them. The timing of some of those kicks was hilarious! Suzanne and Sarah told him to start a routine.

Everyday when he came home from work he was to talk to the baby and put his hand on my belly. I was to tap on my belly and talk to the baby throughout the day. What a delightful game! I would tap on my baby, and ‘Lil Brew would tap back! We could do this for several minutes. I was amazed to find that she could even follow my taps around my womb. I am a piano teacher and I loved feeling the baby kick in beat to my student’s music. Even more delightful was her energized and rhythmic kicking during praise and worship at church each Sunday! We had a baby of worship even in the womb!

We decided to only do one sonogram. We wanted to know the gender of our baby so we could call he/she by his/her name, but as the long term affects of sonograms are a largely untested part of pregnancy we were reluctant to have them just to determine gender. At 19 weeks we went for our one and only sonogram. Our x-ray technician was fabulous, but our baby was uncooperative. Oh, she allowed them to take pictures of all the internal organs and such, however, she was very shy about her gender. She kept her hand firmly over her genitalia. Our bubbly technician had me stand up and hop around in an effort to get the baby to move. However, when we tried again, our precious baby had crossed her legs!!! So, our baby’s gender was to remain a mystery until delivery.

As my pregnancy progressed Suzanne and Sarah were great at feeling the baby and telling me the position she was in. How incredible to touch and feel my unborn child! Over and over they unraveled some of the mysteries of pregnancy and delivery. Through their knowledge and wisdom they taught me more about my Savior, my Creator! They told me things to eat and exercises to do to aid in my discomforts. Simple things like drinking papaya juice to help heartburn, or instructions to sit leaning forward not reclining to help the baby be positioned correctly for delivery. For further information they offered literature and DVDs, they also recommended others to help along the way. They recommended we take Bradley classes and receive chiropractic care. We learned SO much from our weekly Bradley classes, often questions to bring back to Suzanne, Sarah, or Shari. They also recommended I go to the chiropractor. I can not express the difference the chiropractor made! My heartburn left, my body aches left, and I felt SO much better!

As the day of my delivery drew closer and closer I felt confident. Confident in the wisdom and experience of my midwives, confident in our knowledge about what to do, and confident that the God of the Universe who knit together a baby in my womb had created me and had created birth to work. I was amazed by His genius. The biological tools He had built into a woman’s body to not just carry a baby, but deliver that baby, and then to care for the baby after delivery. The incredible health benefits of colostrum and breast milk, the way a mother’s body serves as a natural incubator for her baby (even changing temperature to regulate the temperature of her baby), the “love” hormones released after the pain of delivery, the moldable nature of a baby’s head, and the baby’s natural squirming to make it down the birth canal. Everything about pregnancy, labor, delivery, and newborn care was filled with arrows pointing straight to the genius of the Creator of the World. I found my research to be a worship experience in and of itself. Chance could not have created these miracles, only an intelligent Creator!

By the end of my pregnancy I was starting to swell, and my blood pressure began to increase. Suzanne told me that was my body saying it was time to have a baby, and we began some herbal treatment to help my body go into labor if it was ready.

THE LABOR AND DELIVERY

So, Suzanne had me start to take an herbal supplement to help start labor March 6th. At this point I was full fledged nesting. I moved everything, vacuumed everything, and scrubbed everything!! I was also sewing cloth diapers. So, when Suzanne came March 8th and gave me another supplement followed by instructions to lay down for 15 min then get up and remain active I assured her it would be no problem at all! I checked my email and then got back up on the chairs to work on vacuuming out windows and scrubbing the ceiling fans. After a full day of cleaning and diaper making I sat down to teach my first piano student of the evening. About 20 minutes into the lesson I felt a pop and some fluid. I told my student I had to go to the restroom. To which he said, “You ALWAYS have to go to the restroom!” I went to the bathroom and sure enough, my water had broken and every movement caused more fluid to flow. I went back out and finished up the piano lesson, but told my student I would have to cancel his brother’s lesson. As it was raining out he told me not worry his dad could drive in the rain. I assured him the canceled lesson wasn’t due to the rain. I then called my husband and Suzanne. My final student of the day came and I explained that I was in labor, and wouldn’t be able to teach that day. When Suzanne and my husband arrived she had me use Hibicleanse, felt my tummy, and put a TENS unit on me. The TENS unit put tiny electrical impulses into the muscles on my back to relieve pain. When I pushed the button during a contraction the intensity increased, and then I pushed it gain when the contraction subsided to lower the impulse intensity. She went over everything in the birth kit again, and told AJ and me to go on a walk while she left to pick up a tea. AJ and I took supper out of the deep freeze and then went on a walk around the neighborhood to help speed up the labor. On the walk we prayed for our baby, discussed our fears and excitement, and just bonded. That walk was such a wonderful time for just the two of us as we prepared for what lay ahead. We were in labor, and everything we had learned was now going to come into play. After about 40 minutes of walking we came back in. Suzanne felt my belly again, and showed me how to labor using the birthing ball. While AJ worked on warming up our upper (a lasagna that I had in the deep freeze – note for future babies, labor supper belongs in the regular freezer NOT the deep freezer!) I paced between contractions and relaxed during them. When supper was finally ready it was still a bit chilly. We ate, and my contractions continued to increase. I stood and wobbled my hips around, bent over an exercise ball, and just kept in motion. Then, even before I realized it I was pushing! Throughout this experience I was praying for strength and for strength for the baby. Suzanne began applying pressure to my hips during contractions, and had AJ begin filling the birthing tub in the baby room.

When it was partially full, she recommended I change into my labor clothes, take off the TENS unit, and get into the birthing tub. It felt SOO good in there!! Sarah arrived shortly after and began applying pressure on my hips. While I labored in the tub I would lean against the side. Poor AJ held me while I pressed down, but when I pressed down the tub pushed against my neck and made it hard to breathe. He began holding me up for each contraction. We tried different positions in the tub and then moved to the bed for a little while to labor in a different position. We then moved to the birthing chair to check and see how everything was going.

Every time we moved to a new place I had a contraction on the way there. I would drop to my knees and AJ would drop down with me. He was with me all the way, being my strength. On the birthing chair they realized that my cervix was swelling slightly as I began pushing before the cervix was completely gone. So, they pressed on the cervix to get it back out of the way. I found myself crying out in pain. Pulling on my cervix proved worse than the contractions, but I knew it was necessary. They used more Hibicleanse on me and moved me back to the pool.

There in the midst of a contraction I grabbed for AJ’s hand. However, as he was holding me up so my head wouldn’t go under water during contractions, his hands were not available. I accidentally grabbed his hair and pulled! Shari arrived in the middle of this and began boiling water to fill the tub as our hot water heater needed to catch up. She also made me drinks of lemon juice, water, and honey for energy. I could not figure out how to arch my back, I truly thought I was, but everyone told me I was not.

 

I pushed against my legs in contractions, and the midwives kept reminding me to pull on my legs or push on my belly. I pushed on my belly, but they were concerned I was digging in with my fingers too much. By the end of the labor I constantly felt pressure and no relief time. The midwives told me to reach down and feel the head, and AJ assured me he could see the head. I kept praying, “Lord, help the baby come out!” and to the baby said, “Baby please come out, please come out baby!” Through each contraction all three midwives worked to help me deliver. AJ’s arms were supported my body, and everyone spoke words of encouragement. Suddenly the head came out, but then the shoulder became stuck. The cord was pretty short, preventing them much room to free the baby from the cord around her neck. As they were worried the baby would start breathing underwater, they pulled her out & I tore to a level 3. Grabbing the baby tight in my arms I checked and saw we had a baby girl. Our baby, our Arianna Ellen, meaning holy light. I just held her and prayed over and over, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I stroked Arianna’s hair, and back. The midwives told us to talk to her as she wasn’t breathing yet. We began telling her how much we loved her. I looked at her covered in birthing fluids. I was exhausted, but we had made it! God had brought a tiny baby girl into the world. Throughout the entire ordeal my husband had been there. When the heat and his blood pressure forced him out of the room, the midwives took over supporting me through all the filth and indignity of birth.

Everyone tells you birth is beautiful, and it is, but it is not pretty. There in the birthing room were sweaty exhausted people, a baby covered in slime, a pool filled with water mixed with birthing fluids, and more. Yet, there in the room was life. There in the room I cuddled our baby while my husband’s arms embraced us and the midwives buzzed around attending to our needs. There in the room a person was born, a mother and father were born, and greater still – love was born. Never before had we loved as parents, and now into our arms through incredible blessing mixed with pain and sacrifice now that parental love was born in us.

Life….love….a tiny glimpse into the face of an almighty Creator.

That night at 10:30 pm after 3 and 1/2 hours of labor we discovered birth.

When the cord stopped pulsating AJ cut the cord. Sarah and AJ then helped me stand while holding Arianna. I delivered the placenta, and they all helped me into bed. Arianna never left my arms as AJ half lifted me into bed. There the midwives left us while they cleaned up and checked the placenta. Those women served us like the hands of Christ doing the hard self-sacrificing dirty work of birth all for the privilege to watch the miracle of life over and over again. Together in our bed A.J. and I named our baby, Arianna Ellen Brewer…Holy Light. We prayed over her, that God would use her, grow her into a holy light for His kingdom. We cuddled and talked and just loved her for about an hour.

The midwives then came back to begin the post-birth check up. Arianna was refusing to open her mouth and thus could not eat. With the help of the midwives we were finally able to get her to nurse for a brief minute or two. I held Arianna while they stitched me up. When my stitches were finished they took Arianna and checked her over completely. AJ then helped them weigh and measure her. I got up and went to the restroom with MUCH assistance. I crawled back into bed, and as AJ was so exhausted Suzanne stayed overnight with us to make sure we were okay. I called my parents to tell them we had a healthy baby girl, and AJ called his parents. That night I slept holding Arianna on my chest in complete wonder of the miracle of life, the miracle that was her life.

THE FIRST 6 WEEKS

The morning after her birth Arianna was still not eating well. Her cheek was bruised from delivery and she refused to open her mouth. After trying throughout the day to get her to nurse Suzanne had us supplement with a little formula while I pumped breast milk. My mom came to help take care of me. The next week was a blur of exhaustion, difficulty moving around, trying to nurse, and fears for Arianna. We went to the chiropractor who did cranial sacral work on her. While stuck in the birth canal Arianna’s skull had been compressed against her spine pinching nerves making it difficult to work her tongue. The bruising on her cheek made it difficult to open her mouth. After visiting the chiropractor she did better, but still wasn’t opening her mouth great. As she wasn’t eating well we got more and more nervous about jaundice. Through all of this Suzanne brought us a breast pump, checked on us, and answered phone calls at all hours of the night.

When Arianna’s jaundice appeared to get worse we called Sarah as Suzanne was out of town at a conference. Suzanne recommended we go to the hospital to have her checked out. She was jaundiced, but not badly enough to put her under a blanket or anything. However, after all the pricks and pokes Arianna decided to nurse well for the first time!! It was a small but valuable victory. The following day was another trip to the chiropractor followed by two more trips to the hospital. Finally we got everything lined out and she began eating more. However, she was very fussy and seemed to cry constantly. She was almost impossible to sooth. I got an infection and started having temperatures over 103 degrees. Sarah came to check on me and Shari called in a prescription. After antibiotics, I started feeling better. Although we were nursing, our latch wasn’t good and I experienced tremendous pain. Arianna still cried all night, and still clenched her jaw to eat. The next few weeks included visiting her new doctor, Dr. Greenwood, reading, researching and fighting to find breast feeding help, chiropractors, another infection on my part, more supplements, and exhaustion. Through all of this Arianna was not gaining weight, and looked terribly thin. When we started supplementing her with formula at 5 weeks old she finally became a happier baby. I found myself pumping while nursing, and holding a tube for syringe supplementing in my teeth. At a local birthing seminar a La Leche instructor helped me get my baby nursing better and the chiropractor adjusted her again. Finally nursing became easier, although we still use formula as well. Through all of this the midwives were there to come by to help with nursing, answer phone calls, and help fight for solutions. They were incredible!

Overtime it has been wonderful to watch the miracle of life. There were so many obstacles, but we made it through. God provided strength and endurance. Although things did not work out as I thought they should, God is mighty and we are making it. Our daughter is such a blessing and SO much fun to be around. Her smiles and giggles light up a room. Watching her discover God’s incredible world around her forces us to look at it through new eyes as well. We are eternally grateful to have the miracle that is our daughter!